Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
