Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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