oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
