I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
