so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
