you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
