yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
