There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Everclear isn't food dammit
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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