you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The Olympian is in my bed
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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