Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
