Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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