Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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