If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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