We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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