Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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