I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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