She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
