dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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