I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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