i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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