The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
