i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
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wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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