Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
