god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
