So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
