I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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