Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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