My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
