I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
