are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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