If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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