Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
