I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
