i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize