Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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