Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
