i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
