perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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