she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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