just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
