Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Terrible idea I love it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
