So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This baby is an asshole
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
