I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize