Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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