It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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