Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
