Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize