guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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