I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
