Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
