I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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