He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
