Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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