I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
