Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
