TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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