Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Your cock deserves a montage
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
