btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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