walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
