the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize