We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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