wanna go halves on a baby?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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