You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
