u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
