Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I want to be your penis for a week.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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