that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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