McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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